Yeovil 0 - Millwall 1 (Back to Report Lists) Go on then. Admit it. You thought we’d get tonked at Yeovil, didn’t you? You thought that it was a waste of time going down to the West Country to see the lions take on an upbeat, promotion-hunting side. I bet you thought that it would be like a broken pencil………….pointless. Well serves you right, you stay at home johnnies. You missed a vital three points and a day out in the sun with the mighty Millwall putting on a resolute and solid performance, the likes of which haven’t been seen since for at least three weeks. We are back! The minor hiccup of losing two on the spin has given way to a spark of optimism that should see us climb away from relegation worries and put paid to the spectre of fourth division football. The omens were slightly against us as we heard through the grapevine (well, a strange looking bloke who wore a green and white scarf and was living proof that cousins shouldn’t marry) that the Millwall team bus had broken down and the lads had to slum it on a train and then get collected from the station by a local charabanc company. This fellow (and I use the term loosely) was keen to discuss the merits of Peter Sweeney and was taken aback by the ubiquitous Herman Boring’s mate, Terry, who insisted that Sweeney was a useless, fat, drug taking sweaty who’d comfortably make sure that Yeovil’s play off hopes would soon be a distant memory. How profound! The poor sod got into his car and began to drive away from us only to stop and reverse back. He wound down his window and said “ Now I be in a dilemma!” “Really?, It looks like a Ford Fiesta to me….”… What a strange bloke… We made our way into the ground and how comforting to have to stand on terraces. Old school. Perfect for watching football. We already knew the team would be playing a ‘diamond’ formation and the line up had new man Brammer at the bottom of the rhombus with Harris at the top. Ardley and Elliott either side completed the shape. May and baby Boy up front with a back four of Craig, Robbo, Phillips and Senda in front of the ever present Pidgers. There is always a feeling of bright anticipation just before a game gets under way. There is always a sort of self-belief that you are going to witness a decent performance with the right (winning) result, regardless of who you are playing. This game was no different to Scunthorpe, except….except…except I cant quite put my finger on it. We started off by winning possession and then actually keeping it. Stroking the ball around, bossing the midfield and generally looking like a team on a mission. Oor Wullie had appeared to have done his homework because the Yeovil outfit were clearly on the back foot and couldn’t cope with our formation. On ten minutes though, disaster nearly struck. Nathan Jones had been gone too long (geddit?) down the wing and sent over a cross to the unmarked Davies who managed to put the ball straight over the bar with the goal at his mercy. We all looked away as the ball was struck in the vain hope of that what you cant see cant hurt you (try telling that to my aunt Hilda who died last month of radiation poisoning). But as I said, we needn’t have worried. Davies was as about as accurate as blind Pugh pinning a tail on a donkey. Panic over and back to the plot. Almost immediately we were on the attack. The ball was played out to the right of midfield and Elliott at last decided to show us what he could do. He took on the defender and raced to the by line, it looked like a lost cause but the determination of Elliott was to be admired and he not only kept the ball in play but delivered a tempting ball across the face of the goal where Shanksy was waiting. He did, to be honest, make a bit of a hash of it but it was enough to confuse Mildenhall the keeper, who just seem to help it in to the net. 0-1! May raced away, flushed with success, tapping his boot to demand it should be kissed by the Millwall physio (no, I don’t know why he did that, but each to his own). Yeovil looked shell shocked. Millwall went from strength to strength, Baby Boy had a decent effort well saved and then, unfortunately, reverted to type and made a complete hash of a chance when put clean through. He also got booked for no real reason at all. Yeovil were awarded a free kick in their own area. Byfield picked the ball up and went to throw it to the ‘keeper but one of the defenders knocked it out of his hands. The ref looked round and saw the ball rolling away and booked Baby Boy for throwing the ball away! A quick mention for the referee, Mr Rob Lewis. He was atrocious. It tells its own story when you know that both sets of fans were on his back. I guess that you’d call it consistency, but I wouldn’t. I’d call it a fuckin’ shambles. I wouldn’t trust him to referee a snail race, the incompetent, dare I say it, clown…(think Liége, people…) But it was still all good stuff coming from the Lions, Brammer looked solid and although he didn’t do anything spectacular, he did exactly what was required from him. A decent debut, no frills, no airs and graces, just a good, solid midfield performance. As we are all aware, even a broken clock is right twice a day and Lewis did manage to blow up for half time but not before adding on 4 minutes of stoppage time. We thought that it was a ridiculous amount of stoppage time….but he saved the best til last, didn’t he? NO MISA REPS ON SHOW!!!! Poor form, people, poor form!! There were plenty of Millwall fans though and it has to be said that the away support is quite astonishing for the most part this season. The second half was a bit tougher than the first with Yeovil having the sudden realisation that they could actually lose the game. They did put us under a little bit of pressure but Pidgers was never really in any danger. A few shots from distance, a couple of easy to deal with crosses and nothing at all that led us to think that they might nick an equaliser. May went off (for a bathroom break?) on about the 55 minute mark with Zebroski taking his place. Senda brought out an acrobatic save from Mildenhall who again should get mentioned in dispatches when a mad goalmouth scramble nearly got us goal number two but the ball just wouldn’t fall right and was eventually lumped away to safety by the panicky Yeovil ‘keeper. Harris went off with about ten minutes left, Tom Brighton took his place but never really got going and still looks a few games short of full match fitness. But we expect big things from him so I hope he doesn’t take too long to get back into the swing of things. Time was drawing near and you know how it is, 2 minutes to go, you’re in the madhouse when you are one up, every little thing appears to be so much more dangerous than ten minutes earlier. You look to the fourth official, pleading for a minute, two at the most to see your boys safely over the line. 6 minutes. 6 fuckin’ minutes of stoppage time! Was this arsehole of a ref on double time or something? Overall he managed to conjure up an extra 10 minutes of play. I can’t recall any real delays unless you count Pidgers ridiculous yellow card for time wasting. Just to elucidate on the booking, the ball went out for a Millwall goal kick. One of their lot (Morris?) rushed to get the ball and placed it on the six-yard line. Pidgers sauntered over and picked the ball up and started to place it where he wanted it (as is his prerogative). But Lewis decided that he wasn’t allowed to do that and should have taken the kick from where Morris had planted the ball. Absolute bollocks. So we suffered the six minutes of added time and then a further minute and a half on top of that until finally the whistle sounded and we had captured a very decent scalp indeed. All the players came over to reciprocate the applause from the travelling masses packed behind the goal. Well, all of them except one. Yes, you’ve guessed it, Baby Boy is still living up to his nickname and refuses to acknowledge the Millwall fans who fork out good money to see him strut and ponce about and then fuck off to be first in the shower. Or maybe he needed his nappy changing? I mean, what is his major malfunction? Would it hurt him to admit he was criticised for being an abject failure and nothing more? When will he learn that a simple show of appreciation from him would work wonders in building a relationship with the greatest set of fans in Christendom? Ah well, maybe next time, eh Baby Boy? The Yeovil fans are really a strange breed. They had an almost cavalier attitude to the result. We had just scuppered their play off ambitions but they didn’t seem too bothered at all. They gave the ref a bit of verbal but then again so did we, and as me and Mrs B were walking back to the Bonemobile, they were laughing and joking and planning a night of scrumpy and skittles. Either that or they were going to burn Edward Woodward in a giant wicker basket shaped like a man…….. Well we got back to the car and managed to keep off the moors and made our way to our hotel, wallowing in the afterglow of a job well done, three more points from relegation and safe in the knowledge that the plucking of banjo strings was fading away in the distance…. Chesterfield at home next. And we owe them five, don’t we……?