Millwall v Orient (Back to Report Lists) I couldn't bring myself to put the score line in the title... My old sparring partner, Andy Williams once remarked through the medium of song…”Where do I begin?”. to be honest, he was referring to a love story but the sentiment was and has been at the forefront of my mind since the debacle against the O’s. How can you put into words the ridiculousness of a game that will be remembered for a long time by the 10,000 odd Millwall fans who watched in bewilderment and confusion as Millwall took us on a roller coaster ride that Disney would have been proud of. There was a confidence in the air that really should have been curtailed by those of us who have experienced more ‘after the Lord Mayor’s shows’ at Millwall than is good for us. Over the years it has become an unwritten law that when everything is starting to go right, when we have just beaten a team at the top, when we have a fans ‘offer’ to woo back disillusioned fans, we experience a meltdown not too dissimilar to Chernobyl. The team line up was not really an issue. Pidgers in goal, Craig, Phillips, Shaw & Senda at the back, Brammer, Williams, Elliott & Brighton in the middle of the park and Byfield and Harris up front. We had no idea what was to pan out in front of us as the ref blew his whistle. We began at a cantor, pushing and probing, Orient on the back foot, struggling to match us, oh yes, this had the makings of a good night of football……. Completely against the run of play, the O’s won a corner. Exactly 5 minutes of Millwall pressure and they finally get into our half and win a corner. From the resulting corner kick the first of the nights disasters struck. Our defence decided that it was once again time to play statues and they were all winners as not one made any effort to get near the incoming cross. Alexander simply headed the ball straight into the net.0-1. Our phasers were set to ‘stun’. What the fuck happened? Oh well, never mind it’s early on so plenty of time to get back in to the match….. We scarcely had time to gather our thoughts when disaster struck again. This time a hopeful through ball was played by the O’s over run midfield, more in hope than anything else. It may sound a bit contrite but I am convinced there were three O’s players off side as they turned in unison and headed towards the Millwall goal. The lino went to raise his flag but got a stern arm wave from referee Wiley and as the Millwall defence looked on non plussed by the decision it was 0-2 and only 7 minutes on the clock as Jarvis wheeled away in astonished delight. Could it get any worse….. Of course it could. But even so, it was still all Millwall and we were slowly coming to terms with the score line and the pressure was back on the O’s defence. Then on 12 minutes and even before quite a few Millwall fans had got to their seats (Millwall ticket office, say no more) Mark Phillips proved what many had suspected for some time, that his legs are actually conjoined twins and are incapable of moving independently of each other. All he had to do was lay the ball back to Pidgers. He failed miserably and once again, Jarvis was left to score an easy goal as Phillips couldn’t even muster enough momentum to chase after him. 0-3. 12 minutes gone and I wasn’t sure if my head was hanging low through gravity or shame. What on Gods green earth were we to do now? Strange as it may seem, the O’s had only had three chances to score and had taken all three with aplomb. The rest was all Millwall. We bombarded the O’s goal and watched in disbelief as Harris hit the bar with a delightful header and then fall guy Phillips did the same. The O’s goal had a charmed life. The rest of the first half was more of the same but Millwall just couldn’t get the ball into the net. If you didn’t know better you would have thought we were winning the poxy game, such was the dominance. Harris was replaced by fans favourite, Pubertz about ten minutes before the break and the impetus increased but sadly, no end result for the Lions. When the half time whistle blew you still had to pinch yourself to understand that it wasn’t a surreal dream and that we had somehow shipped in three goals against a team that were being battered. The O’s had three efforts, scored three goals and did little else but defend. Very strange indeed. The forlorn looks and puzzled expressions were all on show amongst a plethora of MISA reps. Me and MrsB were in good company which included NickB, Essex Exile, Smiffy05, CharlieMFC, Elmo Putney, Scott, HPS (who, it has to be said, was more disappointed in the berk wearing a woollen scarf than the teams performance on the pitch), Orange, MFCTom, Dalboy, Five Bells & his missus, Nez, SteveO and last but by no means least Lags who deserves some pity and perhaps an apology from a certain MISA member who shamed him into missing his flight back to Denmark and forced him to watch Millwall’s humiliation with the ultimate putdown of being dubbed ‘lightweight’ for even thinking of being over here and not coming to see the lions play. Ah well, Lags, never mind, at least you made the grade, not like Dartford who couldn’t be arsed to make the effort… As the second half began the atmosphere inside the Den really started to build. A quick substitution saw Hackett come on for Brighton and our expectations really began to rise when we won a free kick about 25 yards out. Danny Senda hit a absolutely beautiful free kick that beat the wall and Garner in the O’s goal but unfortunately the ball crashed against the crossbar for the unbelievable third time, denying Millwall a deserved reward for their superior endeavours. Millwall were now fully ensconced in the O’s half and something had to give. And just after the hour mark we got a breakthrough. A free kick from the left wing, taken by the impressive Brammer, forced Alexander to put through his own net.1-3 was the come back on? You would have thought so as the O’s were almost totally overwhelmed by the crescendo of noise coming from the stands and the forceful nature of the Millwall team was really beginning to pay off. Three minutes after Millwall’s opening goal, the great Dane himself blitzed his way into the box and lashed the ball into the back of the net.2-3. The comeback was on! The Millwall faithful were in full voice as the ground rocked to the rafters. The game was now there for the taking. Orient had shown absolutely nothing and now they were truly on the back foot. All the signs pointed to a comeback of biblical proportions. Then disaster well and truly struck. Now I have been saying for some time that Pidgers worries me. And it gives me no pleasure at all to say that I was justified in always being worried. Now forgive me for being obtuse but I thought that a fundamental part of a goalkeeper’s job description was to kick a football. I appreciate that from time to time, when the ball is coming towards you, the opposing centre forward is bearing down on you, the pitch is full of lumps and bumps, then yes, mistakes can be made. But from a goal kick, with all the time in the world, the ball placed exactly where you want, am I asking too much for a ‘keeper that can kick a ball with a reasonable degree of accuracy? Mr Jarvis, on loan to the O’s must’ve thought his Christmas’ had all come at once. He collected the ball from the atrocious kick and dispatched it accordingly. He looked like a dog with two cocks. He’d got himself a hat trick from a comedy of errors. Unbelievable. It was 2-4. The momentum was lost, the crowd silenced by the sheer ineptitude of a ‘keeper who has surely booked himself a place in the stiffs. 4-2 and it’s all your fault Pidgers…never a more truer word sang (or spoken) in jest. We were crestfallen. The stuffing had been well and truly knocked out of the fans and the team. Oor Wullie brought on Zebroski for Craig in an all out attempt of salvaging a lost cause. It had no impact at all and worse was to come as Millwall went hell for leather the O’s capitalised on the frail defence as 89th minute substitute Walker hit a fifth goal in injury time. Believe it or not, they still had time to almost get a sixth but this time the crossbar came to aid instead of our detriment. The referee and at least one of the linesman certainly played their part in making it a night to forget for the Millwall faithful but the blame must surely rest mainly on Phillips and Pidgeley’s shoulders. These two were a complete liability all night and surely Oor Wullie can see what we see? It was, lets face it, a freak result. Even the most passionate of Orient fans would have to concede that we were actually, easier the better team but for the misadventures of Messrs Pidgers and Phillips. Am I being too harsh on these two? I don’t think so. Take away their collective cock-ups and failings and I reckon we would have won this game. I have to admit that it was a fucking entertaining 90 minutes (+ stoppages) and I sincerely believe that we will not encounter another episode like this for the rest of this season. With or without the two numbskulls Well, we can forget the past now and look to the future. Blackpool away on Saturday! Hooray..oh I do like to be beside the seaside….ahhhhhhhhh these drugs work quickly, don’t they…I foresee a tangerine dream coming up and three points for the Lions . Fuck me, I’ve just written a little over 1700 words and to think I didn’t know where to begin. But at least I know where to stop. It’s at the end. See you in Blackpool